the baby in the womb

Jovan surprised me this morning. He showed me this picture:


I asked him what it was. He answered that it was his little baby sister in mama's tummy. The long lines flowing from mama's head was the long hair. Then the little figure at the right side was Jovan.

Naturally, I told my mom about that and the curious grandmother asked him to draw the little baby inside mama's tummy. And draw he did! :)


Oooh, and yes, we're having a baby girl this time. The ob-gyn finally confirmed it when we checked last monday. Daddy was estatic. Jovan is getting a sister.

inspirations

Some people have always been a source for inspiration for me. One of them is my dear cousin, Cik Ing, who just started an inspiring blog to share her family's life stories. I've always looked up to her since as long as I can remember. I spent quite a lot of my childhood being with her (and her wonderful brother and lil sis) in their lovely home full of books and fun activities. :)

She just sent me an article about finding (and living) your heart's calling. Something I've been struggling with for years. Maybe I should share that in a separate post. For now, I'm just going to let what I've read sink in to add some courage to my soul.

On a lighter note, today we planned to visit the ob-gyn again! Yeah! We've actually planned not to have it once a month (but maybe once every one-and-a-half month, or two months, since I did not have any problem with the first pregnancy), but we usually could not wait to see the lil baby. Haha. The little one has been kicking pretty strongly these past few days, and every kick always brought a smile to my heart.

one saturday morning

It's a peaceful Saturday morning now. Fresh morning breeze is blowing in from the window. I'm drinking a warm glass of chocolate milk, and life is good.

When I opened my mailbox just now, I received the usual weekly newsletter 'My Pregnancy This Week' from Babycenter. I did not realize that I have entered my second trimester, the golden age of pregnancy! :) It's week 13 now. Time really goes faster for this second pregnancy. I mean, last time, I felt like being in the first trimester forever.

So, that goes the official announcement for this blog. We are currently pregnant and the baby is due in mid December. Would be a busy Christmas for all of us here.

Meanwhile, Jove has already talk in long complete sentences, gives his opinion about things, can describe things, and his drawing improves by a lot (can draw faces now in addition to cars). It is really a blessing to have a child and to be able to watch him grow. I always had difficulties in writing about his growth now, because there are too many things to write and I just don't have the patience to note down those things. Furthermore, it is even more difficult to write down the mixture of feelings watching him grow. Happy, proud, but there is a tinge of sadness too. Most of the time, the little sadness came when he could do something new and needed my assistance less. Ah, I'm just being too sentimental now. :P

Wishing you a blessed weekend. :)

the story of stuff

It has been sometime since I last posted. Today, I just watched The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard, and would like to share that.

cycling

We have used this for a few months as a replacement for our morning walks.

The red plastic kid-seat was my youngest sister's. Mom used it to carry her around while doing errands (going to the wet market, picking my other sister from school, etc). Dad found it in the store room, cleaned it, repainted the rusty iron, and there! Jovan has a new hobby! Hehe...

When Jove sits on the red seat, his hair will touch my nose. I could smell his hair, kiss his head, and whisper to him the names of the objects that we see.

In the mornings, when the warm rays of the sun touch our backs, we would ride around the blocks. The cool breeze, the morning activities of the neighbors, the wet road, the swaying trees, and Jove's delight. I enjoy every second of our cycling together!

Nowadays, Jove always wants to wear his blue cap while cycling to shade his eyes from the sun (so I could no longer smell his hair). And now, it is he who says everything that we see. The black car that passes, the big dog, the butterfly, the location of our Sunday school, our new home, the trucks, and all other things.

He's changing and growing all the time. Sometimes it's difficult for me to keep up! :)

Chrysiridia rhipheus

Beautiful sunset moth. I actually gasped in awe when I saw the pictures.

The caterpillar and The Very Hungry Caterpillar brought me to Eric Carle's website, and one of the FAQ questions about chrysalis and cocoon prompted me to do a bit of research on butterflies and moths in Wikipedia.

Internet is really cool.

Oh, and I stumbled upon Encyclopedia of Life a few days ago. I've started to bookmarks these kind of sites for the future when inquisitive Jove start asking me questions. Err, but after another thought, why should I bother when I can ask him to google for answers himself?

Caterpillar on the flower

We found this caterpillar two days ago. It was sitting on a leaf in my neighbor's pink flower plant when I took Jove out to breathe in some fresh air.


I took a picture of it this morning. We visited the caterpillar often during the two days. But this afternoon, it was missing. This evening, when we waited for daddy outside, Jove said that the caterpillar was sleeping being cradled by his mother. I was quite disappointed when I found it gone. I was hoping to see its metamorphosis into a beautiful butterfly.

Thanks to you, La, for The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Jove asked me to read the book to him after each visit to the caterpillar.

busy life

Whew.

I heard something nice from the radio yesterday.

God is fair. Everyone is granted twenty four hours a day. No more. No less.

If some people can be so efficient in managing their time, I should be able to learn to do so.

on having children

I currently re-read Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. If you have not read it, go and find one. It's a good book about life's greatest lesson. Anyway, I stumbled upon this today:

"Whenever people ask me about having children or not having children, I never tell them what to do," Morrie said now, looking at a photo of his oldest son. "I simply say, 'There is no experience like having children.' That's all. There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover. If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children."

From chapter: The Fifth Tuesday - We Talk About Family

The first time I read this book was long ago in my university days, I was not a parent yet. Now that I am one, I am touched in a new way by this chapter on family.

Being parent is indeed a special experience. Morrie put it fittingly in those lines.

on children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

- From The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

learning from a child

It's about three thirty in the afternoon. I brought Jove out to play on the grass in front of the house. We spent a considerably long time examining the rough texture of the grass (a little bit dry because of the hot afternoon sun, I supposed) and the warmth of the stone slabs.

I followed Jove's lead on what to do. We walked on the ticklish grass barefooted, we hopped from stone to stone, we sat down and pulled out some weeds that grew among the grasses, Jove pulled some grasses. The sky was blue, some birds flew above us. The soft breeze caressed our hair lovingly. I could be laying down in a field of green grass with colorful wild flowers and feel as happy as I was this afternoon.

One secret of happiness that I learned from Jovan is as simple as living every second of your day to the fullest. Well, I don't feel happy all the time and I may not remember this secret at all times, but for half an hour this afternoon, I was truly happy.

I did have some thoughts on what the neighbors would say looking at a mother and her son looking intently at grasses and stones while smiling cheerfully at each other. Err, well, that's another secret of happiness that the children possessed: do not care about what other people will think of you. Just enjoy what you do (and what you have) at the moment and be happy. That works for me this afternoon.

so it has been two years

With Jove around, time flies faster. I did not realize it has been two years since we got married.

The first year was a very bumpy ride with lots of uncertainty coupled with anxiety of having a baby. We knew someone else has joined us in the journey on the twenty second day of our marriage. Big surprise indeed! Thus, we had a three-month old Jovan on the day of our first anniversary.

The second year was not that bumpy and we had lots of fun watching Jovan grew (and playing with him too). God has blessed us with so many things that we did not even think we deserved. We secured our first brick and mortar home today. It's a divine intervention that the date of the certificate fell on the same day as our second anniversary. A best friend of mine always reminded me of this verse whenever I felt insecure for the future: God makes all things beautiful in His time.

Indeed He does.

another trip to semarang

We had another trip to Semarang and Salatiga by bus. Jove was pretty cranky on the bus this time because he had a mild cold. In fact, the whole family except dad (two grandparents, three aunts, Jove, and me) caught the bug a few days before the trip. After the trip, everybody's health got worse, except Jovan (thankfully).

We departed on Thursday night, shortly after ten. I spent the whole night trying to sleep while cradling Jovan to sleep. He woke up several times and night and continuously asked for breastmilk. Both of my milk-tanks went dry by the time we reached Semarang at about one on Friday afternoon.

Jove was excited looking at his great-grandfather on the bus ride to Salatiga from Semarang and he got busy playing with great-grandpa's cane. Grandma was sleeping when we arrived, and when she woke up a few hours later, Jovan was sleeping. It happened the two times we went there, so Jovan didn't get to meet his great-grandma properly.

Saturday evening, hubby, Jovan, and I accompanied my grandpa back to Semarang in his car (with a driver). On the way, I thought a lot about my dear cousin, Rika, and whole day we've spent together in May. Miss you a lot, cousin dear! This trip will be more fun with you around. :)

Sunday morning, we headed back to Jakarta. Grandpa did not allow us to go back and made us stay for another two hours. We stopped to have lunch at a restaurant near the sea in Indramayu and look at how happy Jovan was! He was fascinated with the strong sea breeze and the waves. He kept on laughing while holding his hands up, trying to catch the wind. The water was brown and muddy and the scenery was not beautiful at all, but all he saw was the blue blue sky, the fresh breeze, and the sunny Saturday afternoon.


Grandpa introduced Jovan to the wet sand. It was not white nor clean, but Jovan and grandpa ignored those facts. He enjoyed the new texture of the wet sand and he was quite amazed when the waves licked his toes.


Children. Let them remind us of the simple beauty of this earth.

zombie day

I didn't sleep a wink last night. Getting excited doing things for the new project and suddenly the dawn has come before I realized it. And as you can guess, I was half dead at half past seven in the morning when Jove woke up.

By the kindness of my sister and her boyfriend, I could catch a few hours of sleep in the afternoon. And the highlight of the day came after that. I got a call from a dear old friend in Melbourne! (Miss you heaps too, Fel.) She is a talented jewellery designer and you can check her design in her online shop, Flou.

unspoken love

I uploaded the pictures from last May's trip to Singapore, Semarang and Salatiga in the web albums (link at the sidebar).

A few weeks after that trip, I found out something that made my eyes watery from my mom and sisters.

Whenever we stayed in our grandparents' house in Semarang, my father, husband, son, and I usually slept in the guest's room (which was my childhood bedroom). Mom and my two sisters would be sleeping with grandma, and my youngest sister will sleep in a spare bed in grandpa's room. Grandpa sleeps in the room connected to grandma's room. They have slept in separate rooms for about 10 years, I guess.

Anyway, grandpa is a stern person and his relationship with grandma was not romantic or sweet... in short, I could not see them as a couple that could fall in love and got married in the first place. At one time, I knew that grandpa and grandma stopped talking to each other for some months (or maybe years).

And one day while my mom, sisters, and I were chatting about them, I found out that every night after everyone was asleep, grandpa would walk over to grandma's room to check on everybody. He would go to each bed and straighten the blanket, check the airconditioning, then went back to sleep.

Now that my grandma stays in another town, mom wondered how grandpa must have felt when he woke up in the middle of the night and checked the other room.

But I thanked God I had the chance to know this sweet habit of him, checking on grandma every night. That's how grandpa expressed his love.

Miss them so much. Hope we can have another trip there in the middle of this month.

happy birthday Jovan

I woke up at about 2 a.m. because of the mosquitos. Found (and killed) six in the room (Yikes!).

Exactly one year ago, I was being stitched while Jovan was kicking and crying a few meters away. Hubby was busy snapping pictures and admiring his new son. The first year seemed to pass faster than the first month. Jovan is a year old already!

I took the camera and snapped this pic.


After one year, I can only vaguely remember the labor pain, but I vividly remember the euphoric joy that little boy brought. We named him Jovan Octavio, roughly means a delightful abiding place of God. His initials would be J.O.Y. and that was what we would like him to bring constantly in his heart.

I feel honored to be trusted with a soul to tend, feel blessed to be given such a cheerful boy, and... well, my vocabulary is really limited to express what I feel but I'm sure you, mothers out there, know what I mean. I'm also excited imagining the years to come. :)

Meanwhile, I take it as an achievement that I can be a mom for a year and my son is still alive, kicking, healthy, and happy. Hehehe. :) I guess, as a friend said, the first birthday is more for the parents to celebrate their [successful] first year as parents. :)

P.S. For comparison, this was one year ago. Taken when I let my very sleepy hubby (who's going to work in a while) took a short nap on my hospital bed at about 5 a.m. It would be really nice if he were the one who actually gave birth, wouldn't it?

morning walk

One of our morning ritual whenever we stayed in my parents' house (and the weather permits) is a walk together around the housing complex. Jove will either be in my arms, in the stroller, or like today, in his tricycle.

I love the warmth of the morning sun, the golden hues of the rays on the green leaves and grasses, the chirping of the birds, the cool morning air, and the excitement in Jove's face.

Thank God for the mornings.

we're back

Long time no post. We went for a five-day visit to Singapore in the beginning of May and spent last long weekend on a bus trip to Semarang and Salatiga.

Will post about those two trips when I find the time. Meanwhile, for a quick update, Jove started clapping today.

still with cold

Boo hoo. Jove still suffer from cold and no sign of getting better. He's still cheerful, playful, and active as usual... but his nose is often blocked when he sleeps. We are hoping (and praying) hard that he will be fully recovered this week as we will fly to Singapore next week.

Hubby is currently on a business trip to China and I stayed with mom and sisters. Jove loves it here, being adored by so many women everyday. Hee hee.

Happy Easter

Husband and I are having cold throughout the Easter weekend (until now). After successfully deflecting the cold virus for the last few days, Jove is beginning to experience blocked nose this morning. I hope he would not get a full blown cold like us. I read somewhere that breastfed babies have a high immune system, even if they catch cold, they will have a mild one. Let's just hope so.

This Easter, I understand slightly more about the Love that made Him died on the cross. Being a mother has taught me a lot about sacrificing oneself for love. Started with the pregnancy, my freedom was diminishing with the increasing tummy size. Then there was always the labor pain and the sleepless nights that follows. Myself does not come first anymore, now Jove is always on top of my priority list. This process of having and loving my son has made me realise the importance of sacrifice in loving.

Mother Teresa said 'give till it hurts'. If we give something that does not have any value for us, it wouldn't hurt. It would even be easy. The act of loving requires us to give something valuable for us, something that needs some effort to be given.

I wonder a lot of times why God created human in such a way that our human nature made it difficult for us to follow His teachings. We are selfish and He calls us to be selfless. We want to be rich yet He says blessed are the poor. We hate our enemies but He demands us to love them.

Maybe this has something to do with loving Him. Going against our human nature is difficult, maybe it could be a form of sacrifice to show our love.

Happy Easter!