joyful life

when toy story meet madagascar

2010-10-06T15:42:00.001+07:00

If you wonder why the shapes are rather squarish, it is because they are supposed to be made of Lego blocks.

cowboy woody

2010-09-21T10:29:00.000+07:00

One of Jove's favorite character! :)

funny car

2010-09-21T10:24:00.000+07:00

doodles - august 2010

2010-08-31T09:39:00.011+07:00

Jovan's doodle on a memo pad. :) The boy is about four year and two month old now.

Food chain with a hungry angler fish watching

Frog, angler fish (and its prey), and some orcas

Shark attack!

change

2010-07-30T12:57:00.000+07:00

I decided to use back this blog to post Jovan's drawings for archiving. It will take a (long) while to upload the pictures here. But I guess it will worth more than the effort. Wish us luck. :D

moved

2009-03-06T22:38:00.001+07:00

to anvehome.blogspot.com

:)

early christmas present

2008-12-29T03:29:00.002+07:00

So, we had our present and currently still busy adjusting our new life with her.

Here I am in the wee hours of the morning, typing with my left hand while nursing the baby (who sleeps soundly during the day!). More posts when possible. :)

Wish you had a wonderful Christmas...

november updates

2008-11-11T12:26:00.002+07:00

Last Sunday, we went to Taman Safari. It has been our dream to bring Jove to see the animals and we were so excited when it finally came true with a blast! :)

Jove seemed to enjoy looking at all the animals and feeding them carrots from the car window. We were quite surprised that this little guy had the courage to feed small skinny carrots to those smelly big mouths! He surprised us more when he was willing to pose with a naughty little baby orangutan called Aming and touched the two-month old baby tiger.

Our trip was disturbed by a heavy downpour. We had to take turn walking from shelter to shelter with one umbrella that we brought. Grandpa, grandma, and Jove managed to have a fun ride in the cable car when the rain turned to drizzle. Then we went to feed the leftover carrots to the hungry elephants (they ate 200kg of grass per day, said the trainer). Jove, with his little hand was brave enough to put the carrots on the trunk.

Jove also managed to ride elephant and camel with his aunts, and a pony by himself, after the rain stopped. We went home tired, but happy and satisfied. Jove slept soundly on our way home.

the missing ears

2008-09-22T20:15:00.002+07:00

Lately, Jovan often "lost" his ears.

This morning, when I was doing something I couldn't leave, I noticed Jovan was plucking tissues out of the box. He plucked a sheet, threw it on the floor, plucked another one, threw it on the floor, on and on like that till a heap of tissues (about a quarter of the box) was piled next to his feet. I asked him nicely to stop doing that, and he kept doing what he was doing without even glancing at me. He did not hear my voice even when I have started shouting.

He only stopped when I picked him physically, put him to stand near the wall for time-out while I picked the tissues on the floor. Looking at him standing quietly with innocent face, I couldn't get angry for long...

But yeah, that and other similar incidents have made me scrambling to find out the best (and working) method to discipline him nicely.

So far... no luck yet. Any advice? :)

puzzles

2008-09-05T22:16:00.005+07:00

Hubby bought a Lightning McQueen 12-piece jigsaw puzzle for Jove a few months ago. He bought it just because Jove liked the picture so much. One day, Jove tried the puzzle and got hooked. Now he have about 7 puzzles and one puzzle book (with 5 puzzles inside) that he regularly do. Like a hobby!

For the 12-piece puzzles, he does not need any help. But for the 30-piece and 48-piece puzzle, we need to help him sort out the side pieces to be done first. After a few tries, usually he would start to remember the places.

Being a firstborn, Jove always surprise us with his interest. I googled about puzzle and children development afterwards, it turned out that puzzles aid children hand-eye coordination and the development of memory. Jove plays with his puzzles daily and just in three or four days he can usually do his puzzle without any help in the initial sorting. He even can place the middle pieces at their correct places out of his memory. It's really fun to see him do the puzzles. :)

the baby in the womb

2008-09-03T15:02:00.004+07:00

Jovan surprised me this morning. He showed me this picture:

I asked him what it was. He answered that it was his little baby sister in mama's tummy. The long lines flowing from mama's head was the long hair. Then the little figure at the right side was Jovan.

Naturally, I told my mom about that and the curious grandmother asked him to draw the little baby inside mama's tummy. And draw he did! :)

Oooh, and yes, we're having a baby girl this time. The ob-gyn finally confirmed it when we checked last monday. Daddy was estatic. Jovan is getting a sister.

coloring competition

2008-09-03T14:40:00.007+07:00

Our cluster in Alam Sutera, Kirana, always have a bazaar in August to celebrate Indonesia's independence day. This year, they had a coloring and drawing competitions for kids. We did not register Jovan to join because he was way too small for the competition. The youngest age range is 4-5 years old for coloring. But when we saw Jovan looked interested, we asked him whether he wanted to join. He said he wanted to! So we paid Rp. 15,000.- and Jovan took part in his first competition.

He did his piece seriously. At first, I thought he would draw a car or something on that page because he never colored any picture before. He usually just drew and colored his own drawing. But apparently, he understood that he only had to color the picture.

He sat there for, well, maybe 10 or 15 minutes, until he was satisfied with his work.

Then he just got up when he considered his artwork done.

I think the dad, the uncle, the grandpa, or the aunts who came by once in a while took part in telling him to color the cloud blue or to use red for the flag. But, at least everything was done by him. Nobody expected him to win but we did enjoy one of the best moments. :)

inspirations

2008-08-31T04:57:00.003+07:00

Some people have always been a source for inspiration for me. One of them is my dear cousin, Cik Ing, who just started an inspiring blog to share her family's life stories. I've always looked up to her since as long as I can remember. I spent quite a lot of my childhood being with her (and her wonderful brother and lil sis) in their lovely home full of books and fun activities. :)

She just sent me an article about finding (and living) your heart's calling. Something I've been struggling with for years. Maybe I should share that in a separate post. For now, I'm just going to let what I've read sink in to add some courage to my soul.

On a lighter note, today we planned to visit the ob-gyn again! Yeah! We've actually planned not to have it once a month (but maybe once every one-and-a-half month, or two months, since I did not have any problem with the first pregnancy), but we usually could not wait to see the lil baby. Haha. The little one has been kicking pretty strongly these past few days, and every kick always brought a smile to my heart.

a cat, a panda, and a colorful drawing

2008-08-29T15:13:00.002+07:00

This was Jovan's first attempt to draw a cat.

Then this. My sister thought that the eyes looked like Powerpuff girls' eyes.

Po the Panda, from Kungfu Panda. The panda picture was drawn by him (no addition or reduction or anything from me or anyone else). I was the one who write 'po'.

After months drawing with only one color, Jovan finally started to use more colors.

doc hudson

2008-08-26T14:46:00.004+07:00

Jove was addicted to Pixar's CARS. He used to watch the movie everyday (could be twice a day if I let him). Thankfully, the addiction wore off (after a month or so, and I've almost memorized the dialogue). But he is still very fond of one car, Doc Hudson. I don't understand why it is just this one car, but maybe it's about taste.

He often asked me to play whatever short animation of Doc Hudson that I could find in You Tube. Or to find its pictures online. Through Google, I found out a lot about the real Hudson Hornet and its pictures. Jove loved to browse through the pictures. He would just sit there, on my lap, in front of the notebook, and watch the slide show of Hudson Hornets that I found in the internet.

One day, we were in a toy store when he noticed a Hornet among other Hot Wheels cars on the shelves. He asked for it, and we bought it for him. More than a month has passed since then and there has not been a day when he did not play with his beloved Hornet. He called it Doc Hudson and brought it with him almost everywhere. He would ask us to put the car in the fridge/freezer when it became too warm on his hand. Papa and Ama have bought him two other new Hot Wheels car since then, but he liked them less. Doc Hudson is still the best.

I have to say that this fascination amazed me a lot. Even his father do not share as much enthusiasm as him regarding cars. So, where does it come from?

drawing with jovan

2008-08-22T17:17:00.007+07:00

Jove still loves to draw. Drawing on his magnetic doodle board is an activity that he ALWAYS does every single day. Lately, he would draw something while he talked, telling some sort of story that went with the drawing he did. Mumble, mumble, draw, draw, then erase. Mumble, draw, draw, then erase. I just need to be fast enough to grab the camera whenever he draw something interesting. I missed quite a lot of interesting drawings that way, but these are some of them. :)

His favorite is drawing a car, with a bear and a deer in front of it (like in the movie Open Season).

A car with two suns.

Train.

A car under the cute sun.

He always draw train with lots of straight lines on top of it. His fascination with trains started when he watched Thomas and going to Bandung by train last July.

One of the rare moment. I actually would like to let him play more with the watercolors if he was not too naughty (he likes to pour the water in the container on purpose!). Natural mess is fine with me, but it takes a lot more cleaning (and patience) if he is making the mess deliberately!

trimming

2008-08-18T15:50:00.002+07:00

The first time Jovan sat on his own, usually he sat on my lap.

The whole thing took about 20 minutes. He went cranky once the trimmed hair fell on his neck and got itchy. So the barber-lady had to stop and wait for me to apply baby powder on his body and talk him into sitting down nicely again to finish the cut.

Sigh! My baby is growing up so fast...

fourth prenatal check-up

2008-07-27T11:41:00.000+07:00

We visited our ob-gyn this morning for another check-up. My blood pressure was normal and everything was good. We spent about an hour inside the office, mainly trying to find the child's gender (the baby got his/her thighs together, difficult to see the in-between), and chatting with the friendly doc. We are still guessing the gender, but that's not a problem at all. :)

Jovan is still kissing and hugging the bulging tummy about ten times a day. He mostly slept hugging the tummy now, most of the time asking me to expose the tummy. Sweet brother, uh?

My sister said that I wasn't being fair with this baby. In my first pregnancy with Jovan, I would take pictures of my tummy monthly, then wrote down my weight and sometimes the circumference of the tummy. But with this one, I never wrote down my weight and hardly had time to take a proper picture. Hehehe... But during previous pregnancy, my sisters loved to touch the tummy whenever I visited them. Now? Hardly. They're busy chasing Jove around the house. :) So it's really a good thing that Jovan always remembers to kiss and cuddle the little baby.

two!

2008-06-26T16:03:00.001+07:00

Dear Jovan,

Happy second birthday, Son! I could not believe that two years have gone by since that miraculous moment when you were born.

You woke up counting one to ten while slowly smiling and opening up your eyes yesterday. Then you asked for a strawberry milk. You are a wonderful talker, even I am amazed and often confused on when did you learn to say those sentences. It seemed so easy for you to repeat new words and understand their meanings. Jove dear, our days have become so much more colorful with your jokes, stories, and remarks.

At two, you are still very much fascinated by vehicles. When we passed a cool red Ford pick-up, your eyes widened and you asked me to go nearer to the car. A glimpse to the newspaper that I was reading and you pointed to the small little picture of a car advertisement. You cried with glee and exclaimed that you like it ("Qiang-qiang seneng!!!") when you opened a set of vehicle board books. You spend minutes poring over the pictures of trucks, tractors, helicopter, racing cars, and others. Even in the plant shop that we visited yesterday, you pointed out the wheel in the small wagon that we saw. Having no brother and close nephew, I am truly fascinated by your fascination! :)

Every single day, since you knew that I was pregnant, you never missed cuddling my bulging tummy to greet your baby brother/sister. All of us are amazed by this gesture. You'll be a sweet brother, everyone says.

But for a week or so, you've been very stubborn in doing things your way and you had your tantrums when we did not comply. Gosh! Are you entering your terrible two phase, darling boy? Let's hope the phase will not last long. :)

I don't know what the future will bring to both of us. But I am sure that you will continue to bring your joy and your love to your family and to everyone you're in touch with.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Mama

one saturday morning

2008-06-07T05:37:00.003+07:00

It's a peaceful Saturday morning now. Fresh morning breeze is blowing in from the window. I'm drinking a warm glass of chocolate milk, and life is good.

When I opened my mailbox just now, I received the usual weekly newsletter 'My Pregnancy This Week' from Babycenter. I did not realize that I have entered my second trimester, the golden age of pregnancy! :) It's week 13 now. Time really goes faster for this second pregnancy. I mean, last time, I felt like being in the first trimester forever.

So, that goes the official announcement for this blog. We are currently pregnant and the baby is due in mid December. Would be a busy Christmas for all of us here.

Meanwhile, Jove has already talk in long complete sentences, gives his opinion about things, can describe things, and his drawing improves by a lot (can draw faces now in addition to cars). It is really a blessing to have a child and to be able to watch him grow. I always had difficulties in writing about his growth now, because there are too many things to write and I just don't have the patience to note down those things. Furthermore, it is even more difficult to write down the mixture of feelings watching him grow. Happy, proud, but there is a tinge of sadness too. Most of the time, the little sadness came when he could do something new and needed my assistance less. Ah, I'm just being too sentimental now. :P

Wishing you a blessed weekend. :)

the story of stuff

2008-05-29T09:46:00.002+07:00

It has been sometime since I last posted. Today, I just watched The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard, and would like to share that.

cycling

2008-03-09T04:46:00.003+07:00

We have used this for a few months as a replacement for our morning walks.

The red plastic kid-seat was my youngest sister's. Mom used it to carry her around while doing errands (going to the wet market, picking my other sister from school, etc). Dad found it in the store room, cleaned it, repainted the rusty iron, and there! Jovan has a new hobby! Hehe...

When Jove sits on the red seat, his hair will touch my nose. I could smell his hair, kiss his head, and whisper to him the names of the objects that we see.

In the mornings, when the warm rays of the sun touch our backs, we would ride around the blocks. The cool breeze, the morning activities of the neighbors, the wet road, the swaying trees, and Jove's delight. I enjoy every second of our cycling together!

Nowadays, Jove always wants to wear his blue cap while cycling to shade his eyes from the sun (so I could no longer smell his hair). And now, it is he who says everything that we see. The black car that passes, the big dog, the butterfly, the location of our Sunday school, our new home, the trucks, and all other things.

He's changing and growing all the time. Sometimes it's difficult for me to keep up! :)

Chrysiridia rhipheus

2008-03-05T23:39:00.002+07:00

Beautiful sunset moth. I actually gasped in awe when I saw the pictures.

The caterpillar and The Very Hungry Caterpillar brought me to Eric Carle's website, and one of the FAQ questions about chrysalis and cocoon prompted me to do a bit of research on butterflies and moths in Wikipedia.

Internet is really cool.

Oh, and I stumbled upon Encyclopedia of Life a few days ago. I've started to bookmarks these kind of sites for the future when inquisitive Jove start asking me questions. Err, but after another thought, why should I bother when I can ask him to google for answers himself?

Caterpillar on the flower

2008-03-05T16:26:00.004+07:00

We found this caterpillar two days ago. It was sitting on a leaf in my neighbor's pink flower plant when I took Jove out to breathe in some fresh air.

I took a picture of it this morning. We visited the caterpillar often during the two days. But this afternoon, it was missing. This evening, when we waited for daddy outside, Jove said that the caterpillar was sleeping being cradled by his mother. I was quite disappointed when I found it gone. I was hoping to see its metamorphosis into a beautiful butterfly.

Thanks to you, La, for The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Jove asked me to read the book to him after each visit to the caterpillar.

draw cars!

2008-03-05T10:00:00.004+07:00

Jove is always asking us to draw cars and trucks and motorcycle and tractors (and the like) since he could talk. At first, we wasted lots of papers for the drawings and his scribblings. Then when the pen/marker/crayons started roaming to the sofa and the floor, grandpa bought him the magnetic doodle.

Jovan loves to spend a lot of time drawing. At first, just squiggly lines, wriggly circle, well... abstract drawing. Then one day, he started practicing to draw something, like a car. He would start with a horizontal line, then he would add two circles... like the base of the car drawn from the side. After a few days doing that, well, maybe a week or so, he dramatically changed!

One fine day, he surprised us all by really drawing a car!

He'll make a big squarish circle (most of the times in the shape of a van), add two wheels (or more), and a window. If he says it is a taxi, he will add something at the top (for the taxi sign), if it is a jeep, he'll add the extra wheel at the back. Trucks will be bigger with more wheels. Racing cars will be short and flat. It is amazing to watch him draw! :)

Children. Is. Amazing.

busy life

2008-03-04T23:24:00.002+07:00

Whew.

I heard something nice from the radio yesterday.

God is fair. Everyone is granted twenty four hours a day. No more. No less.

If some people can be so efficient in managing their time, I should be able to learn to do so.

aspiration

2008-02-11T17:10:00.001+07:00

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Jove: A penguin.

That's my one-year-seven-month-and-two-weeks-old boy.

goodbye grandma

2008-02-01T17:50:00.000+07:00

I was cleaning up in the new house with hubby and Jove when my youngest sister called hubby's handphone. She was crying and mumbling something about grandma. I took Jove and cycled as fast as I could.

Grandma died that Sunday morning, 20th January 2008.

My parents flew two hours after that. My two sisters followed in the evening. They made it in time to see her before they closed the casket. My sister said that grandma looked peaceful, just like sleeping.

God has called her and end her suffering. Now she is happy, healed, and whole again. But she will be forever missed by her six daughters, six son-in-laws, twenty grand-children (and five grandchildren-in-law -is there such a word?-), six great-grand-children, and a husband.

Hubby, Jove, second sister, father (who flew back to Jakarta on Monday) and I joined the big family on Wednesday morning. It felt weird to head straight to the mortuary from the airport. We met my two sisters, mother, two aunts, and the nurse who took care of grandma there.

The place was quite new, clean, and nice. Grandma's photo smiled at me in front of her casket. She has gone to a better place, I kept telling myself. I should be happy for her. She has lived her 83 years on Earth fully. She has given birth to six wonderful daughter, watched them meet and marry the men of their dreams, hold the twenty grand-children, even attended five of the grand-children's wedding! I still remembered, in awe, when grandma attended my dear cousin's wedding. Wheelchair bound, sick and weak, but she was there for all of us. A selfless strong woman my grandma was.

The days that follow were spent with my dear aunts, uncles, and cousins for the cremation and placing of her ashes in the columbarium.

Thursday morning, we gathered in front of the crematorium. We prayed around her coffin. So many people came to the last service. Some old ladies from Salatiga, including my grandma's 95 year-old sister, sang a sweet song about her meeting with Jesus. It was a beautiful moment. Then the coffin was placed inside the furnace. It was time to pay our last respect. One cousin brought fresh red roses that each of us placed near her coffin. Grandma loved flowers, especially the red roses.

We watched when the fire was lighted. Soon, the furnace was ablaze with burning hot fire. Grandma frail, old, weak body was slowly reduced to ashes. She needed that body no more for she already has a new one up there.

Saturday morning, we gathered there again to collect her ashes. The person-in-charge gave us the ashes inside a cloth pouch doubled with clear plastic together with two prostheses. We were shocked when we hold the prostheses (once planted inside her hips) they were so heavy! Maybe more than a kilogram in total. I could not imagine that all these time, grandma carried those heavy stuff around with her!

We carried her ashes to the columbarium grandpa has built for the family. The big family gathered there for lunch. I wondered if grandma joined us in the gathering, looking at the many people who loved and respected her. Or she could still be dancing with Jesus on her two feet in heaven!

Goodbye for now, Emak sayang. One day when we meet again, I hope I can say that I've lived my life at least as full as yours.

On the road

2007-12-31T02:52:00.000+07:00

We're on our way back from Semarang now. Somewhere in Tegal. Jove just moved to the other car to be with grandma, so I'm free to try this.

busted!

2007-11-05T21:16:00.000+07:00

on having children

2007-10-22T17:13:00.001+07:00

I currently re-read Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. If you have not read it, go and find one. It's a good book about life's greatest lesson. Anyway, I stumbled upon this today:

"Whenever people ask me about having children or not having children, I never tell them what to do," Morrie said now, looking at a photo of his oldest son. "I simply say, 'There is no experience like having children.' That's all. There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover. If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children."

From chapter: The Fifth Tuesday - We Talk About Family

The first time I read this book was long ago in my university days, I was not a parent yet. Now that I am one, I am touched in a new way by this chapter on family.

Being parent is indeed a special experience. Morrie put it fittingly in those lines.

on children

2007-10-19T23:58:00.000+07:00

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

- From The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

learning from a child

2007-10-07T23:06:00.000+07:00

It's about three thirty in the afternoon. I brought Jove out to play on the grass in front of the house. We spent a considerably long time examining the rough texture of the grass (a little bit dry because of the hot afternoon sun, I supposed) and the warmth of the stone slabs.

I followed Jove's lead on what to do. We walked on the ticklish grass barefooted, we hopped from stone to stone, we sat down and pulled out some weeds that grew among the grasses, Jove pulled some grasses. The sky was blue, some birds flew above us. The soft breeze caressed our hair lovingly. I could be laying down in a field of green grass with colorful wild flowers and feel as happy as I was this afternoon.

One secret of happiness that I learned from Jovan is as simple as living every second of your day to the fullest. Well, I don't feel happy all the time and I may not remember this secret at all times, but for half an hour this afternoon, I was truly happy.

I did have some thoughts on what the neighbors would say looking at a mother and her son looking intently at grasses and stones while smiling cheerfully at each other. Err, well, that's another secret of happiness that the children possessed: do not care about what other people will think of you. Just enjoy what you do (and what you have) at the moment and be happy. That works for me this afternoon.

so it has been two years

2007-10-01T23:43:00.000+07:00

With Jove around, time flies faster. I did not realize it has been two years since we got married.

The first year was a very bumpy ride with lots of uncertainty coupled with anxiety of having a baby. We knew someone else has joined us in the journey on the twenty second day of our marriage. Big surprise indeed! Thus, we had a three-month old Jovan on the day of our first anniversary.

The second year was not that bumpy and we had lots of fun watching Jovan grew (and playing with him too). God has blessed us with so many things that we did not even think we deserved. We secured our first brick and mortar home today. It's a divine intervention that the date of the certificate fell on the same day as our second anniversary. A best friend of mine always reminded me of this verse whenever I felt insecure for the future: God makes all things beautiful in His time.

Indeed He does.

babble bubble

2007-09-16T23:54:00.000+07:00

(u)dah, mama, papa, bapak, mbak, bu, mau, yuk, nggak, ya, hloo, no, car, truck, bus, tank, (ru)mah, (i)tu, (i)ni, (thank) you, ama, xie xie, (helicop)ter, (nya)muk, kena, enak, suka, (can)tik, (je)lek, star, bubble, (wa)ter, main, down, up, fly, sky, buah, nenen, (sam)pah, hiiii, idih, aduh, (sa)kit, (ko)dok, bebek, duck, cow, lucu, buka, pok pok (horse), mamam

I might have missed several words, but those words are roughly his vocabulary now. He learned to say 80% of them in the last two months. He really shows God's amazing work in him. I am constantly amazed at the rate he learned things, the way he mastered the language, remember songs, do new things... Whew. Being a parent is the greatest blessing ever... and with a great blessing comes a great responsibility.

After dinner tonight, Jove saw kueh ku (the red turtle-like Chinese snack, made of ketan, with green bean filling) on the table and said he wanted it. He took the package, gave it to me, asked me to open it, then he sat down politely on the floor. After he finished, he actually got up, took the plastic package (now empty), toddled to the rubbish bin, and put the thing nicely into the bin without any prompting from anyone. I just watched him doing that and filled with pride, joy, and gratitude.

After that, I went around the house announcing the great deed he just did to everyone. Haha.

on his own

2007-08-28T18:25:00.000+07:00

Jovan stopped walking on his own after he fell down a few weeks ago. Before that, he managed to walk a few steps forward for two days. He finally had the courage to walk on his own again on August 21st, in the afternoon. That day, he walked in straight lines for a few metres. The next day, he managed to turn right and left and even turn around without toppling down. I guess he really waited until he was sure he could walk before trying walking on his own.

Today he has covered the whole house and the front yard. He loves to walk to the water dispenser when he thinks that nobody notice (of course somebody is always keeping an eye on him). He likes to stand on the base of the standing fan, holding on the pole, and switching the fan on and off. He has tried to open almost every cupboard that he could get his hand into, climbing up and down the chair, and running out from the house when the front door was open. We got busier with him around now.

Last Friday, Jove asked for 'more' when he has finished his bowl of rice. And today is the first time he asked for his dinner! Maybe he was hungry and he asked me to feed him. Usually he asked for breastmilk, so it was a nice surprise that he could do that.

Goodness, I'm not really prepared for all these new developments of him. They happened in such a short time. Every single day he learned some new things or some new words and most of the times that happened my heart bursts with joy. :)

The picture above was taken this afternoon when we let him play on the grass again. Grandma put the flowers and asked him to pray, my sister took the picture. Parents should be thankful for digital cameras. I could not imagine how much money we would spent on films to take perfect (not blurred) pictures of the constantly-moving kid.

another trip to semarang

2007-08-20T15:03:00.000+07:00

We had another trip to Semarang and Salatiga by bus. Jove was pretty cranky on the bus this time because he had a mild cold. In fact, the whole family except dad (two grandparents, three aunts, Jove, and me) caught the bug a few days before the trip. After the trip, everybody's health got worse, except Jovan (thankfully).

We departed on Thursday night, shortly after ten. I spent the whole night trying to sleep while cradling Jovan to sleep. He woke up several times and night and continuously asked for breastmilk. Both of my milk-tanks went dry by the time we reached Semarang at about one on Friday afternoon.

Jove was excited looking at his great-grandfather on the bus ride to Salatiga from Semarang and he got busy playing with great-grandpa's cane. Grandma was sleeping when we arrived, and when she woke up a few hours later, Jovan was sleeping. It happened the two times we went there, so Jovan didn't get to meet his great-grandma properly.

Saturday evening, hubby, Jovan, and I accompanied my grandpa back to Semarang in his car (with a driver). On the way, I thought a lot about my dear cousin, Rika, and whole day we've spent together in May. Miss you a lot, cousin dear! This trip will be more fun with you around. :)

Sunday morning, we headed back to Jakarta. Grandpa did not allow us to go back and made us stay for another two hours. We stopped to have lunch at a restaurant near the sea in Indramayu and look at how happy Jovan was! He was fascinated with the strong sea breeze and the waves. He kept on laughing while holding his hands up, trying to catch the wind. The water was brown and muddy and the scenery was not beautiful at all, but all he saw was the blue blue sky, the fresh breeze, and the sunny Saturday afternoon.

Grandpa introduced Jovan to the wet sand. It was not white nor clean, but Jovan and grandpa ignored those facts. He enjoyed the new texture of the wet sand and he was quite amazed when the waves licked his toes.

Children. Let them remind us of the simple beauty of this earth.

boys will be boys

2007-08-12T21:52:00.000+07:00

Jove's pose when watching soccer or car race on TV. He can sit still and watch quietly for several minutes longer than if he watches or does anything else.

His favorite toys are cars, trucks, buldozers, helicopters, airplanes, ... you get the idea. And he has shown this keen interest on those things since he was about six months old! By twelve months, before he could walk, he could differentiate car, truck, and bus on the road. He'll say tar, tak, and bas (all rhymes with car) while pointing at correctly said vehicle.

I've read in some books that a child liked his/her gender related toys (boys like cars, and girls like dolls) just because the parents exposed him/her to those toys more. But I don't agree. I did gave Jovan some of my old dolls to play, showed him flowers and other girly things, but he didn't seem to be interested.

play grass

2007-08-12T17:48:00.000+07:00

Grandpa put Jovan on the green grass one Saturday afternoon. Jove loves it! He would touch the grass, the dirts of the earth, and he would not be picked up by anyone.

zombie day

2007-08-09T14:09:00.000+07:00

I didn't sleep a wink last night. Getting excited doing things for the new project and suddenly the dawn has come before I realized it. And as you can guess, I was half dead at half past seven in the morning when Jove woke up.

By the kindness of my sister and her boyfriend, I could catch a few hours of sleep in the afternoon. And the highlight of the day came after that. I got a call from a dear old friend in Melbourne! (Miss you heaps too, Fel.) She is a talented jewellery designer and you can check her design in her online shop, Flou.

unspoken love

2007-08-01T08:19:00.000+07:00

I uploaded the pictures from last May's trip to Singapore, Semarang and Salatiga in the web albums (link at the sidebar).

A few weeks after that trip, I found out something that made my eyes watery from my mom and sisters.

Whenever we stayed in our grandparents' house in Semarang, my father, husband, son, and I usually slept in the guest's room (which was my childhood bedroom). Mom and my two sisters would be sleeping with grandma, and my youngest sister will sleep in a spare bed in grandpa's room. Grandpa sleeps in the room connected to grandma's room. They have slept in separate rooms for about 10 years, I guess.

Anyway, grandpa is a stern person and his relationship with grandma was not romantic or sweet... in short, I could not see them as a couple that could fall in love and got married in the first place. At one time, I knew that grandpa and grandma stopped talking to each other for some months (or maybe years).

And one day while my mom, sisters, and I were chatting about them, I found out that every night after everyone was asleep, grandpa would walk over to grandma's room to check on everybody. He would go to each bed and straighten the blanket, check the airconditioning, then went back to sleep.

Now that my grandma stays in another town, mom wondered how grandpa must have felt when he woke up in the middle of the night and checked the other room.

But I thanked God I had the chance to know this sweet habit of him, checking on grandma every night. That's how grandpa expressed his love.

Miss them so much. Hope we can have another trip there in the middle of this month.

as he walks

2007-07-30T14:55:00.000+07:00

Jovan started to walk on his own yesterday. He is pretty careful in his learning to walk. Mom said that all of her four daughters (me and my sisters) were daring enough to walk/run from one point to another when we were still unable to walk properly. Jove actually took his sweet time to master his steps and refused to practice walking on his own previously.

Yesterday night, at my in-law's, I witnessed my little cherub walking into the room, all on his own, from the door where his father was standing. With a wide, big, cheerful smile on his face, he toddled into my embrace, on his own, not holding on anything or anyone.

Boy, I couldn't even describe how my feelings were at that point. Happy, excited, proud, yet I felt some sort of fleeting sadness. Soon, he will let go of my hand (and refused to be held) when he walks and runs in this big big world.

Do you, mothers, feel the same?

one sunny sunday

2007-07-15T20:31:00.000+07:00

We were invited to swim in one aunt's condominium one Sunday morning. Jovan had a lot of fun with one great aunt, three aunts, one uncle, two cousins (and their two babysitters), daddy, mommy, cold clear water, bowls of spaghetti, slices of yummy bread, sweet ice cocktail, and a basketful of peanuts.

Actually posted on 31/07/07

ONE year old celebration

2007-07-01T20:44:00.000+07:00

If we were to have three sons... it would take ages to have a proper family picture. Hee hee. All of them just could not sit still.

Serpong, Tangerang - 1 July 2007

happy birthday Jovan

2007-06-26T02:52:00.000+07:00

I woke up at about 2 a.m. because of the mosquitos. Found (and killed) six in the room (Yikes!).

Exactly one year ago, I was being stitched while Jovan was kicking and crying a few meters away. Hubby was busy snapping pictures and admiring his new son. The first year seemed to pass faster than the first month. Jovan is a year old already!

I took the camera and snapped this pic.

After one year, I can only vaguely remember the labor pain, but I vividly remember the euphoric joy that little boy brought. We named him Jovan Octavio, roughly means a delightful abiding place of God. His initials would be J.O.Y. and that was what we would like him to bring constantly in his heart.

I feel honored to be trusted with a soul to tend, feel blessed to be given such a cheerful boy, and... well, my vocabulary is really limited to express what I feel but I'm sure you, mothers out there, know what I mean. I'm also excited imagining the years to come. :)

Meanwhile, I take it as an achievement that I can be a mom for a year and my son is still alive, kicking, healthy, and happy. Hehehe. :) I guess, as a friend said, the first birthday is more for the parents to celebrate their [successful] first year as parents. :)

P.S. For comparison, this was one year ago. Taken when I let my very sleepy hubby (who's going to work in a while) took a short nap on my hospital bed at about 5 a.m. It would be really nice if he were the one who actually gave birth, wouldn't it?

morning walk

2007-05-24T15:06:00.000+07:00

One of our morning ritual whenever we stayed in my parents' house (and the weather permits) is a walk together around the housing complex. Jove will either be in my arms, in the stroller, or like today, in his tricycle.

I love the warmth of the morning sun, the golden hues of the rays on the green leaves and grasses, the chirping of the birds, the cool morning air, and the excitement in Jove's face.

Thank God for the mornings.

we're back

2007-05-21T23:23:00.000+07:00

Long time no post. We went for a five-day visit to Singapore in the beginning of May and spent last long weekend on a bus trip to Semarang and Salatiga.

Will post about those two trips when I find the time. Meanwhile, for a quick update, Jove started clapping today.

still with cold

2007-04-24T00:24:00.000+07:00

Boo hoo. Jove still suffer from cold and no sign of getting better. He's still cheerful, playful, and active as usual... but his nose is often blocked when he sleeps. We are hoping (and praying) hard that he will be fully recovered this week as we will fly to Singapore next week.

Hubby is currently on a business trip to China and I stayed with mom and sisters. Jove loves it here, being adored by so many women everyday. Hee hee.

sweet recovery

2007-04-12T16:18:00.000+07:00

Three of us are just recovered from cold. Yay.

Husband and I had cold since Good Friday. The packed weekend made us worse and little Jove caught the bug on Tuesday. Thanks to his good immune system, his cold was mild and he was recovered on Wednesday night. But these two days and nights have been tough for us. Jove is also teething at the moment (I suspected major teething involving more than two teeth), and the cold made him uncomfortable sleeping. So he woke up often during the night and twice he cried loudly for five minutes, both of us tried everything to calm him to no avail. During the day, he wouldn't sleep lying down, even after being bribed with yummy breastmilk. He only slept in the sling with me singing and swaying around. Even after he was fast asleep in the sling, he would wake up if I put him down. *sigh* I finally gave in and let him sleep as much as he wanted in the sling while I did my stuff.

Jove is also extremely clingy when he is teething. I'm looking forward for brighter tomorrow...

nine month development

2007-04-11T08:06:00.000+07:00

Jove changed so fast these past two weeks. He managed to sit by himself one or two days before he turned nine months, now he's already an expert. Pulling himself up to standing position and crawling are also his expertise now. I can not let him out of sight in his awake moments. He wants to go everywhere and touch everything.

Now he looks and pays more attention to the direction or object I point at. He is fascinated by animals, especially fish. He can tell us if he want something by moving his whole body towards the thing and saying uh-uh-uh... and crying loudly if we move away from the wanted thing. He loves to open the freezer and touch the cold ice inside it. He likes to walk in the baby walker and play with the tricycle. The only time he wants to stay still in his stroller is when we walk him outdoor.

He has three teeth now. Two front lower teeth and one front upper tooth. The other one of the front upper teeth is coming out, two weeks after its twin. My mom said the two usually came out together. I've noticed that the upper gum at the sides of the front teeth is swollen, maybe some major teething is coming. The lil guy is usually cranky in his teething period, my cousin said it could be due to the size of his teeth, which is big.

Umm, what else? Oh, it's somehow difficult for him to fall asleep nowadays. A few months ago, I could plop him on the bed with a bolster and a pacifier and he would sleep. As easy as that. Now, he wants to be breastfed or rocked in the sling to sleep. It takes hours too to make him sleep at night. *sigh*

About two weeks ago, I noticed that he covered his face with a blanket. I said peek-a-BOO! He pulled the blanket off his face and smiled. Since then, he enjoys playing peek-a-boo with anyone. Nice surprise for all of us. :)

Happy Easter

2007-04-10T07:05:00.000+07:00

Husband and I are having cold throughout the Easter weekend (until now). After successfully deflecting the cold virus for the last few days, Jove is beginning to experience blocked nose this morning. I hope he would not get a full blown cold like us. I read somewhere that breastfed babies have a high immune system, even if they catch cold, they will have a mild one. Let's just hope so.

This Easter, I understand slightly more about the Love that made Him died on the cross. Being a mother has taught me a lot about sacrificing oneself for love. Started with the pregnancy, my freedom was diminishing with the increasing tummy size. Then there was always the labor pain and the sleepless nights that follows. Myself does not come first anymore, now Jove is always on top of my priority list. This process of having and loving my son has made me realise the importance of sacrifice in loving.

Mother Teresa said 'give till it hurts'. If we give something that does not have any value for us, it wouldn't hurt. It would even be easy. The act of loving requires us to give something valuable for us, something that needs some effort to be given.

I wonder a lot of times why God created human in such a way that our human nature made it difficult for us to follow His teachings. We are selfish and He calls us to be selfless. We want to be rich yet He says blessed are the poor. We hate our enemies but He demands us to love them.

Maybe this has something to do with loving Him. Going against our human nature is difficult, maybe it could be a form of sacrifice to show our love.

Happy Easter!

toddle toddle toddle

2007-04-03T12:18:00.000+07:00

Aaah, finally finding time to write again! This last week has been hectic. Jove and the parents are entering a new phase as he manages to scoot around the bed easily, grab things, and stand up on his own (while holding on something). I have to watch him really close now. Within the week he has bumped his head hard against the furniture twice, cried hard, and had a swollen bump near his left eyebrow for two days. I, of course, got a long scolding from his grandmother.

Anyway, we went for his measles vaccination last week. The pediatrician announced him to be healthy. Thank God, that's what matter the most. :) He is 9.9kg now. Actually we expected him to exceed 10kg as he was 9.5kg three months ago on his six-month check up. But the pediatrician said that the increase was normal at this age, we would not want him to be a giant, would we?

Jove's nap schedule is also changing now. He is able to stay awake longer and requires only two naps a day, usually he needed three. Still very difficult to fall asleep at night, though. The father has tried to tire him phisically when he came home from work and I've tried to do boring things nearing his bedtime to no avail. After a few minutes latching sleepily on the breast, he would wake up and roam the bed, play with this and that, stand up, then get cranky. I would latch him to the breast again, pat him, and hoping for him to sleep, only to have him wake up and repeat the routine for two or three more times before finally fall asleep.

I could not believe only nine months have passed since I gave birth, Jovan seemed to grow so fast from tiny newborn to chubby baby to active roaming child. Yet I feel that this nine months have passed so swiftly I haven't had time to really sit down and enjoy all the moments.

I'm full of excitement right now, thinking that in a few months time my baby will start walking and talking and I would spend my waking moments chasing him and answering his questions... uh oh... will I have the energy to do all that?

Being a mom is opening your life to paradoxical milestones. Something that excites you can also be something that you dread. You can be happy and sad at the same time. Every milestone that your child achieves will feel your heart with pride and anguish. You're getting nearer to your goal of raising your child to be a person, yet that would mean you're getting nearer to the time your child moves out from your home.

...

Oops, I think I've been too sentimental writing all this. Ha ha. Come on, Jovan is only 9 months old and I'm thinking of him moving out of the house?

Blame it on the mommy hormones.

blue blue sky

2007-04-01T11:58:00.000+07:00

Glorious Sunday morning! The three of us went for a morning walk and enjoyed it immensely.

So the disciples went and did as Jesus had told them. They brought the donkey and the colt, then they laid their cloaks on their backs and he took his seat on them. Great crowds of people spread their cloaks on the road while others were cutting branches from the trees and spreading them in his path. The crowds who went in front of him and those who followed were all shouting:

Hosanna to the son of David!
Blessed is he who is coming in the name of the Lord!
Hosanna in the highest heavens!

Matt. 21:6-9

jovan - 9 months

2007-03-26T21:02:00.000+07:00

Jove grew so much hair in the last month.

I can even style his hair.

Afro. :)

Okay, this was my attempt to see Jove with hair. Ha ha.

Anyway, hubby smsed me in the morning, "Today Jove is 1.5 years old." I replied that he made a mistake in typing.

Hubby said that Jove has been with us for 1.5 years. 9 months in the womb, 9 months outside.

Definitely the best 1.5 years in our life.

mama, mama, mama

2007-03-16T00:41:00.000+07:00

He had said it pretty often in these three days as an attempt to call for help.

:D

another teething

2007-03-09T23:44:00.000+07:00

Jove has been restless for two days now. Very difficult to get him to sleep and he started biting me while feeding again. I suspect that the upper front teeth are coming out. Poor baby.

on death

2007-03-01T11:59:00.000+07:00

I received a call from an old friend of mine yesterday. Her mother had died, she told me, crying.

She is my primary school friend and we used to go to each other house. Our friendship deepened in junior high then we parted. We went to different senior high school, then to different countries. We met again when she moved back to Indonesia. I brought my husband and my baby in the womb visiting a pretty, smart, and confident young woman. We met her mom too. Her mom was as pretty as I always remembered her, but she looked frail. Cancer has eaten up her body.

I met them again a month after my baby was born. My friend visited me twice. Then I didn't hear anything from her again till yesterday. Her mother has died the day before and was buried in the morning. She said she was relieved that her mom was now free of pain and suffering, but she still found it hard to accept the loss.

Death always hit the ones left behind. We are left with one empty gaping hole in our lives... Our only comfort is that God has a better place and that we will be united with the person again one day.

Meanwhile, I can only pray that my friend will have enough strength to accept the hard reality. God bless her.

glorious morning

2007-03-01T09:09:00.000+07:00

The cool wind was blowing hard this morning. The sun shone brightly and spread its golden ray all over the blue blue sky. Glorious indeed. I took Jove for a nice walk.

Thank God for the morning.

Mt 7:7-12

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds;
and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Which one of you would hand his son a stone
when he asked for a loaf of bread,
or a snake when he asked for a fish?

If you then, who are wicked,
know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your heavenly Father give good things
to those who ask him.

“Do to others whatever you would have them do to you.
This is the law and the prophets.”

eight months

2007-02-28T14:48:00.000+07:00

I did not realized that two days ago, Jove turned 8 months old. Only eight months have passed since he came out, yet I feel I've loved him forever.

He has two lower teeth, a sweet sweet smile, and super loud cry the instant he wants something. He is more of a toddler than a baby now.

His crib has been turned into a playpen now. Looking at him sitting inside it, playing by himself, made me feel somewhat happy and also sad. Hmm, must get used to this mommy feeling and just be grateful for this wonderful miracle God has planted in my care.

prayer

2007-02-27T14:27:00.000+07:00

Why, O Lord, is it so hard for me
to keep my heart directed toward you?
Why does my mind wander off in so many directions,
and why does my heart desire
the things that lead me astray?
Let me sense your presence in the midst of my turmoil.
Take my tired body,
my confused mind,
and my restless soul into your arms
and give me rest, simple quiet rest.

Henry J.M. Nouwen
Show Me the Way: Readings for Each Day of Lent

***
P.S.
Today is a special day for someone!
Happy birthday, Cousin dear! :)

hospitality

2007-02-26T23:15:00.000+07:00

Then the king will say to those on his right,
‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father.
Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.
For I was hungry and you gave me food,
I was thirsty and you gave me drink,
a stranger and you welcomed me,
naked and you clothed me,
ill and you cared for me,
in prison and you visited me.’ ...
‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did
for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’
Matt. 25: 34-5, 40

I am living in Jakarta, Indonesia. Whenever I am in the car driving somewhere in the city, I see hungry and thirsty people begging for money near the traffic light; some of them are ill. Naked guys with mental illness walk pass my house. I watch and read criminal being sentenced to prison almost daily. Yet I have to admit, sadly, I have never done anything.

The most I have done is giving little fraction of my money to the beggars. That is closer to nothing than something.

Mother Teresa lived this gospel reading to the letters. She fed the hungry, gave drink to the thirsty, clothed the naked, nursed the sick, welcomed the dying to die on her lap.

Should I do the same? Could I? Or would I?

I have heard and read this gospel reading a lot of times, but I have never give it enough importance to be done in my life. I find it difficult, mostly because I have a lot of fears.

Welcoming a stranger to the house is close to impossible to be done. I have watched enough real-life crime to be able to do that. Or maybe I am not poor enough to do that (blessed are the poor in spirit; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven).

But I should be able to do the rest. Yeah, I could do them.

And of course, I would.

away from home

2007-02-23T23:46:00.000+07:00

Today is my husband's birthday. We woke up slightly before 4 a.m., ate our breakfast cum birthday noodle at 4:30 a.m., then hubby left to the airport at 5. He had a morning flight to Singapore, two days one night business trip.

Happy birthday, Daddy!

what to give up

2007-02-22T20:08:00.000+07:00

Give up complaining
focus on gratitude.
Give up pessimism
become an optimist.
Give up harsh judgments
think kindly thoughts.
Give up worry
trust Divine Providence.
Give up discouragement
be full of hope.
Give up bitterness
turn to forgiveness.
Give up hatred
return good for evil.
Give up negativism
be positive.
Give up anger
be more patient.
Give up pettiness
become mature.
Give up gloom
enjoy the beauty that is all around you.
Give up jealousy
pray for trust.
Give up gossiping
control your tongue.
Give up sin
turn to virtue.
Give up giving up
hang in there!

ash wednesday

2007-02-21T17:49:00.000+07:00

Meménto, homo, quia pulvis es, et in púlverem revertéris

Remember, man, that thou art dust, and unto dust thou shalt return

cute cute goddaughter

2007-02-21T14:16:00.000+07:00

My goddaughter and her mom just visited me! Oooh, the most awaited event of the month! :)

Rielle is a super cute-cute-smart-smart little girl. I didn't get to see her often, so I was always amazed with her growth every time I saw her. The smartest kid for her age I've met so far! So proud of her. He he he. So proud of her mommy too. :)

And silly me, I forgot to take picture!!!!! I've recharged the camera, prepared it on the table, and forgot to use it altogether in the excitement of meeting them.

If you read this, Rielle's mommy, please remind me to take picture the next time we meet. :)

gong xi fa cai

2007-02-18T22:56:00.000+07:00

a painful episode

2007-02-12T19:16:00.000+07:00

Someone bit me while I was feeding him! Ouch, ouch, ouch!

My mom told me to pinch his tiny nose when he bit, I did just that, but he bit even harder and pulled away (still biting), resulting a bloody blister that stained my pad.

Not too big blister, but the pain lasted for a good two days. Partly because of the engorgement, then because I fed him again with the still-blistered-bitten breast at night.

I found this inside the medicine cupboard, from Mom's friend on her pilgrimage. I like to use this better than the nursing cream.

Unbelievable as it may seem, this is the culprit:

flood

2007-02-04T23:53:00.000+07:00

Jakarta is flooded. Badly.

My in-laws' house is flooded up to an adult's thigh and they spent the almost the whole of Friday in the car trapped in a very bad traffic jam on their way to a relative's house. My father and almost everyone else could not work on Friday. My husband went to work in the morning, but went home shortly after because the water level was rising everywhere.

There were thousands that lost their homes, stranded with wet clothes and no food on the rooftops. Some lost their family members in the flood. Today, most of them started to get sick. Thousands of people also trapped in their houses with no clean water and electricity since Friday. The clean water and electricity were cut off in the flooded area to prevent water pollution and possible short disaster. Today, my sister-in-law and her family moved to stay in a nearby hotel. With two children under three, it was a wise precaution.

These past three days, watching the news about the flood gave me weird kind of feelings. I'm thankful that all of us are alive and healthy, can live well with clean water, electricity, and enough food. I'm horrified and sad knowing about those poor people losing their homes and cars and belongings. My heart's gone to pieces looking at those sick children and babies in the measly shelters. But I'm also slightly glad that my husband is at home and not working.

For precaution, we're staying in my parents' place again. My sister just got an sms tonight, informing that her lab session was canceled and those who has found the kutu beras (rice flea or rice bug?), for the experiment, should try to keep them alive till next week.

Another celebration

2007-01-29T23:32:00.000+07:00

Dinand and Jove in the playpen. Dinand is one of Jove's cousin and is four and a half months older. Jove used to be terrified being near him (for reasons unknown), but not anymore! Everyone is having mixed feelings about them growing up (learning to grab, walk, run around, throw things... you get the idea), together with Dinand's three year old brother, they are capable of doing (great) things in the house.

Anyway, here's a super yummy chocolate cake for Papi, my dear father-in-law. He turned 58 today and a very proud grandfather of his three grandsons!

Happy birthday Papi. We love you!

where's the baby?

2007-01-24T23:28:00.000+07:00

Jove loves to stand up (with support) nowadays.

there is none like you

2007-01-18T19:32:00.000+07:00

There is none like You
No one else can touch my heart like You do
I could search for all eternity long
And find there is none like You

Your mercy flows like a river wide
And healing comes from Your hands
Suffering children are safe in Your arms
There is none like You

keep waking... keep waking...

2007-01-17T21:37:00.000+07:00

These two weeks, Jove always take about two hours from his sleepy state to sleeping. He looks sleepy, he gets cranky, he yawns many time, he just won’t go to sleep. He’ll play with the bolsters and the pillows, with the pacifier, turn around, turn to his tummy and back, wail when we stop giving him attention… We try different ways each night to help him sleep, not because we are too creative, but because the previous tricks just don't work today.

Tonight, we put Jove in between us and we pretended to sleep. Hubby soon fell asleep for real. At first, Jove played with the bolster, then with daddy’s nose. Sensing that daddy ignored him, he started pulling daddy’s hair, harder and harder with each pull until his dad could not stand it any more. Seeing that, the little guy actually laughed!

Anyway, then the sleepy daddy went back to sleep, and I continued my acting. Jove finally fell asleep in about 15 minutes... and I can go back online peacefully.

the way he sleeps

2007-01-16T23:27:00.000+07:00

the scary beginning

2007-01-15T13:28:00.000+07:00

Two weeks ago, I watched An Inconvenient Truth. Shortly after, as if helping the movie to dug its message deeper into my head, the rain stopped falling and the sun started to bake the world. The last time I checked, it was 32 degree Celsius. My father-in-law told me the report in the news said that the temperature has hit 35 degree.

Last night, there was a blackout in the area. The darkness was nothing compared to the heat we had to endure with no air conditioner. It took us more than an hour of fanning, back-patting, and periodically breastfeeding the baby to get him to sleep. He was sweating and could not fall asleep. Thankfully, the electricity turned on at eleven p.m. and the baby fell into deep slumber with the cool air blowing from the air conditioner.

It was pretty scary to observe the weather these days. What have we done to our world?

On the first day of the new year, an airplane went missing with its 96 passengers and six crews. Two days before, a motor vessel with 504 passengers and 63 crews. Search and rescue of those two tragedies are still going on until now. Bad weather was the reason for both tragedies.

Nature has gone mad. We are at fault for exploiting it without mercy.

I hope we can still do something to save the world. I could not imagine what kind of world will my little Jove and his children (and grandchildren) live in.

the little swimmer

2007-01-13T13:32:00.000+07:00

Little Jove loves swimming. He just got the swimming suit from my beloved cousin and we had a blast at the pool.

Fifth time swimming, he smiled for the second time in the pool. We even tried sliding down the slide in the kiddy pool, Jove cried two seconds after we splashed into the pool. But after a hug with a pat-pat on the back, he quickly stopped and continued to enjoy the water.

Planning to swim weekly now.

jove and the colorful cow

2007-01-12T23:24:00.000+07:00

visit to the pediatrician

2007-01-10T21:47:00.000+07:00

Third Hepatitis B vaccination today. Jove is 9.5 kg, 69 cm, no lag in physical development, and healthy. The pediatrician commented that people could break their back just by carrying my baby. He also wondered if his needle could enter the chubby thigh.

As always, Jove is the only baby exclusively breastfed among the babies in the waiting room. This far, after about seven visits to the pediatrician, several meetings with mothers at the shopping malls, parks, or restaurants, I've only met two other mother who gave exclusive breastmilk to their babies.

A rainbow for mom

2007-01-09T11:30:00.000+07:00

On our way to my parents’ house this morning, we saw that beautiful seven-colored arc on the sky. The rising sun spread his pale gold rays through the soft clouds in the east and the sky was painted with lumps of golden clouds in the pale blue background. Rain drizzled softly on our side.

I told my husband, this was God’s birthday gift for our wonderful mom.

Happy birthday, Mama.

God’s miracle

2007-01-08T20:29:00.001+07:00

Jove just had his first blended-boiled-potato-carrot meal; I put him down in the middle of the bed then left the room to clear up the potato-carrot stained dishes and high chair. Three minutes later, when I entered the room, the bed was empty. No baby on the bed.

I was frozen for a split second, too scared to move. Horrible images played in my head.

When I left him, Jove was playing with his multi-colored cow in the middle of the bed, barricaded by four adult-sized bolster and pillows on each side of the bed, plus one body-mate (170cm bolster) at one side. Now, one of the bolster was missing (the one at the far side of the bed) and there was no baby.

If the baby fell down, knocked the cold hard floor or the hard wood of the bed frame, he should have cried. My baby’s cry could be heard from blocks away, I should have heard it from the living room. If he did not cry or make any sound, could he have fainted?

I ran to find him.

I found the baby lying on his tummy, with his chest and hands on the bolster, looking around at his new surrounding. He loves to look around, especially in new places. It was his first time on the floor between the bed and his crib, he had fun. I called his name and he looked up at me, and to my relief, smiled.

I quickly took him and hugged him tight, then remembering something, sat him down to check for bruises or open wounds or scratches, well, any sign of injury.

I found none.

Then I tickled him. He laughed his belly laugh. I laughed along, nervously. We played peek-a-boo and I tickled him again. His laughter quickly washed my fears away.

I thank my Lord. For I could not understand how could he went from the bed to the floor safely. He could not even crawl or sit up by himself yet. He could have shifted from the middle of the bed to the side… but to go down to the floor safely to the position I found him in, impossible, at least from my frail human mind’s point of view.

Maybe He taught my son how to fly down safely when He saw him on the verge of falling down.

I learned my lesson and renewed my faith.

One day, Lord please show me the event. I’m really curious on how he got there.

sneaky mom busted

2007-01-05T23:12:00.000+07:00

The little guy wailed. He has tried to go to sleep for almost an hour to no avail. Frustrated, he sought the Ultimate Way to Sleep, latching on my breast.

I nursed him for a few minutes, and then I took a magazine and read. The little guy sensed that I was doing something else when I flipped a page. He turned, looked at the magazine, looked at me, then continued sucking.

After a while, the rhythm of the sucking became slower, and slower, and slower, then stopped altogether. I took a pacifier and quietly replaced my nipple with it.

He shifted. I stroked his head, patted his tiny butt, hoped he would settle back to sleep. No, he didn’t.

He dropped the pacifier. Opened his eyes big, looked at me in the eye for a few seconds, then his eyes started brimming with tears. He wailed as if I have betrayed his trust by taking out my nipple and shoving a pacifier in. The sneaky mom felt a pang of guilt instantly. You couldn’t helped feeling very guilty with that sad innocent tear streaked face looking at you like that.

When I placed the tip of my breast back into his mouth, he didn’t suck at it quickly as he always did. He looked at me with his teary eyes while slowly latching to my breast, then he stopped latching and while looking at me, wailed again. I said sorry a few times, kissed and hugged him, promised that this time I would wait until he let go by himself. Only then he stopped looking at me, started latching and happily nursing while drifting to sleep.

Never underestimate a six-month old baby.

a christmas blessing

2007-01-05T17:20:00.000+07:00

Grandma was on her bed when we got there, smiling. We rushed in and took turns showering her and grandpa with kisses. It felt so good to finally see them again, especially now. Little Jove, surprisingly cheerful after a 12-hour journey, laughed a lot and delighted the great grandparents. A wonderful Christmas day we had.

The next four days were spent remembering and creating warm memories with dearest grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. Wishing we can have more of those moments this year.

puncak old and new

2007-01-03T15:06:00.000+07:00

We spent the old and new in Puncak, a cool mountain-side resort town in Bogor, near Jakarta. Stayed in the private villa of my father-in-law's youngest brother.

Colorful flowers, clean cold air, fresh green vegetables, a lot of food, yummy fruits, and 180 degree view of spectacular fireworks filled our two days and a night stay there.

end of a holiday, a new year

2007-01-02T01:46:00.000+07:00

The rain is falling softly outside. My baby and husband are sleeping soundly next to me. It's almost two a.m. and I should have been sleeping. I couldn't.

We just went back from our string of trips (that started on Christmas day) and I have not done my quiet time for this New Year. So here I am in the cold wee hours of the morning, tip tapping on the notebook.

New Year always brings new hope for me to be a better person. My husband deserves a better wife and my son needs a better mom. Those would be the top priorities for my New Year's resolutions.

Lord, be with me walking through this year. Please hold me close and never let me go. I need you.

an angel for the family

2006-12-27T22:10:00.000+07:00

The sky was grey with heavy clouds. The air was damp. Everything was wet from the rain that has just stopped. Little Jove waited with my mom and husband in the car, in the parking lot in the middle of the cemetery, while I followed the footsteps of my father and my three sisters walking in a single line on a little path between the tombstones.

From the little path between the tombstones, we stepped into a wider cemented path. Trees stood quietly at the sides of the path. Strange looking trees, their trunks were twisted and their branches were like clawing hands. Appropriate for a scary movie in a cemetery, I thought.

We walked on. Four grave diggers led the way. We asked them to find the grave as Papa has forgotten where it was. They walked quickly, their bare feet made no sound on the wet pavement. The air was cool, rain water still dripped from the leaves when the wind blew, everything was peaceful. I loved the serenity of the cemetery. The dead have no worries.

Not long after, they met another digger, an older one, who happened to know the location of the grave. He used to clean the three graves, he said. We steered out from the wide cemented path, climbing the hill filled with tombstones by carefully stepping on the wet slippery soil or the lower bases of big tombstones. On the way, he showed a big tombstone, a grave to a couple, the parents of my grandfather. I knew almost nothing about them; great grandpa died long before I was born and great grandma died when I was three, yet without them, there would be no me.

Almost at the top of the hill, the digger pointed down to a patch of land full of tall wild grass where scattered bouquets of flowers were thrown away by previous visitors of the nearby graves. I looked closely beneath the tall wet grass. Three small tombstones marked the three graves.

The left one was the newest one, the second daughter of my mother’s youngest sister, died at one day old in 1998. There was a cross made from cement on top of the tomb. The right one was the oldest, second daughter, third child of my mother’s elder sister, died at almost a month old in 1979. In the middle tomb lies my parents’ only son, my brother, died in August 1982, just two days after he was born.

The gravediggers quickly busied themselves clearing the grass on and around the tombs. We stood there, watching. Twenty over years have passed since the last time I visit the place, I was a four-year old child who knew nothing then.

Now I knew, inside the grave lies my baby brother, born and died in a much smaller size than my son when he was born. With him was a small statue of a dog that my father bought for him, he was born in the Chinese year of Dog, just like my son twenty four years later. I could not imagine how my parents must have felt when they buried their son, much as I could not imagine how I would feel if I lost my son. Sadness still clouded their faces if I asked or mentioned about my baby brother.

I have a lot of questions I did not dare to ask. Maybe they did not know the answers themselves if I did ask. Silly questions like: how would our family be now if my baby brother was alive? Would I still have three sisters, the same ones like I have now? Would he be my closest friend and companion? Would his opinion and advice matter when I chose my husband? Would he study with me in Singapore? Would he be a great uncle for my son? And so on.

I knew for sure that our lives would not be the same with him around and it was utterly useless to even ask those questions. Maybe in their hearts my parents asked the same questions from time to time. Or maybe it was only one question, why did he have to die?

While standing over the three little graves, I thought that my little baby brother was now an angel, residing in heaven with his Father and his cousins, looking after us, waiting for us. All of us will see him one day, smiling broadly while introducing us to the hands of our Maker.

When the grave diggers finished clearing the graves, we took photos with brother Wei Xiong’s tombstone, said our prayers, and then walked back to the car, back to the noisy land of the living, back to our busy lives.

down with fever

2006-12-23T00:06:00.000+07:00

I was down with fever yesterday. I woke up with horrible feelings, painful joints, bad headache, nausea and fever. I took Panadol and went back to sleep after hubby went to work. Woke up, still feverish. I called my sister to pick us up.

Jove is blessed with aunts-on-their-Christmas-holiday and available stay-at-home grandma, so sick mommy is not a big issue. I spent the day sleeping, waking up only for meals and feedings. The fever went down in the afternoon, but went up again at night. I took another Panadol and went to sleep. Little Jove slept with the grandparents. Bottles of breastmilk were ready in the fridge.

After an uninterrupted night sleep, I did get better. Have done loads of activities today and I'm still okay. Thank God.

another first

2006-12-19T20:48:00.000+07:00

Jove pooed succesfully in the toilet today. I hold him while he sat on the kiddy seat that grandma bought him.

Yay!

healing the moon

2006-12-18T18:18:00.000+07:00

We gave Jove CTM (chlortrimeton) four times on Friday. The dose was prescribed by our personal doctor, Jove's grandpa. He said that the medicine was quite safe to be used for long term due to its insignificant side effect. But being safe, it took a long time to work. By Saturday morning, the rashes were still all over him, and the scratching continues. We put a topical cream for the scratch wound at the back of his head, it was healing, but Jove kept on scratching. I took the liberty of giving a dose of Avil and Kenacort to him. The medication was prescribed by Jove's pediatrician the first time he identified the allergy outbreak and cleaned all rashes. However, according to my father-in-law, Kenacort contained corticosteroid and not safe for babies. I have considered this decision for two days, it was out of desperation when I gave him that dose. Two hours later, the rashes started drying and the healing began.

We went to the bioresonance therapy clinic in the afternoon. Jove was tested allergic to his Zwitsal shampoo and soap, tempe goreng, Quacker oats, and our house's dust. He had 30 minutes of therapy while watching children's show. This time, he only started to fuss two minutes before the therapy ended.

That evening, Jove used Sebamed baby soap and shampoo. Then at night, grandma carefully wiped his whole face and body with warm and slightly wet towel then put Protopic cream on the rashes.

Sunday morning, Jove woke up clear and bright. His face shone with the new smooth skin and that made our day. I boldly decided to start the investigation in the afternoon, I ate fish. I hold my breath during the first feeding after lunch. He seemed to be fine. Dinner, I tried another fish and a little bit of ox tail. Jove continued to be fine till bedtime. Yay.

Both of us quickly turned on the light when we woke up this morning, and after taking a good look at the sleeping angel, we laughed. Jove's skin was still clean. Even until now when I write this, after a chicken soup breakfast and tempe lunch, he is still clean. No red rashes, no scratching. Only one little happy round moon.

Thank you Lord.

my own christmas elf

2006-12-18T10:08:00.000+07:00

This Christmas, I got a Christmas elf.

The hat was handmade by my multi talented cousin, cie Ing Ing. Jove looooves it!

The picture was taken yesterday and if you noticed, no more red rashes! Full story will be told in another entry.

great grandma goes home

2006-12-16T20:59:00.000+07:00

Jove's great grandma finally went home today after almost half a year travelling half the world to find a cure. I really really really really really hope that she will continue to heal and be well completely soon. Please hear our prayers, Lord.

We may be going there this Christmas. Could be Jove's first long distance car trip!

still red

2006-12-14T23:32:00.000+07:00

We decided to give Jove the doctor's prescribed medicine for his allergy. His rashes are getting redder and he scratched till they bled and stained the bed sheet (I was pretty terrified and hugged him for a couple of minutes after seeing the blood stain). Eating rice and vegetable only for the whole day did not help to reduce the rashes. Maybe the outbreak has gone bad.

We're going to try the bioresonance therapy on Saturday. Hope that helps.

On a happier note, today is Emak's 81st birthday. Called her in the afternoon. She sounded happy. The hospital's nurses threw a surprise birthday party for her, they brought a cake, sang birthday songs, and took pictures. Wonderful sweet nurses! God bless them.

another outbreak

2006-12-13T15:31:00.000+07:00

Red rashes strike again. They are everywhere, on both cheeks, neck, chest, tummy, the whole back, armpits, and some spots on the chubby arms and legs. Seems itchy.

Jove was tested allergic to chicken and quail's egg, cow's milk, peanut, cashew nut, chocolate, white sugar, red snapper fish (ikan kakap merah?), prawn, squid, chicken, pork, beef, wheat, yeast, some fungi, cat dander, some metal, prawn cracker, Kraft cheese, yellow food coloring, orange essence, and Indomie. Ikan Tenggiri (mackerel?) is labeled OK by the therapist.

I ate quite an amount of pepes ikan tenggiri (mackerel cooked in banana leaf with some spices) for breakfast and lunch yesterday. Then I drank a glass of chocolate flavored coffee in the afternoon. Oh, and I also ate a piece of chocolate cake. The outbreak began in the evening.

I ate some pepes tenggiri last Sunday and drank the same drink a few days in a row last week, no outbreak of rashes. I assumed that they were okay. Apparently they are not.

I'm going to take some food and drink to the clinic this Saturday to be tested directly to the baby. Meanwhile, I treated the rashes with Protopic cream. Hope the little guy gets better.

he bites

2006-12-13T13:38:00.000+07:00

Jove bites everything now. He nibbles soft and hard toys, my cheek, chin, and shoulder, his tiny hands, daddy's hand, grandma's hand, his plastic books, and worse of all... my nipples!

Not too painful now, maybe because the teeth have not come out yet. I really really hope he stops doing that when his teeth pops out.

angelic

2006-12-13T00:21:00.000+07:00

Just now, for some reason, I cried. The sleeping baby suddenly stirred, woke up, and cried aloud. I was cleaning up in the bathroom, so hubby picked him up and tried to calm him down. The sway and walk around the room didn't work, Jove cried and cried. But he stopped crying the instant he was placed in my arms.

He looked intently at me. When I put him on the bed, stroked his hair and said sorry (for being emotional), he broke into a sweet angelic smile!

He put his tiny hands on my cheeks, something like stroking me. Then he broke into another happy grin. He grinned at me, then at his daddy. Then after sometime, he fell asleep next to me.

I felt happy the moment he stopped crying when I took him. But being stroked by two tiny hands and being shown a smile like that... completely priceless!

sleepy day

2006-12-12T15:53:00.000+07:00

Jove spent most of his time sleeping today! Wow. He took a two-hour nap in the morning and now, two hours has passed and he is still sleeping! Last week, he only slept like 15 minutes to 1 hour on each nap. I guess he is tired from the flurry of activities that we did since Friday afternoon.

We went swimming on Saturday morning. Swimming has been more and more exciting for Jove now. He wiggled his feet and almost smiling in the water! Afterwards, we went for a pizza lunch at the Sarpino's with my sisters, then went home at night.

Sunday, Jove and I cruised Gramedia in MTA while daddy went for NTU Alumni meeting at a nearby school. We spent almost two hours looking at the books. I carried him in the sling, and nursed him while looking at the books. Jove slept for about half an hour in the sling. We had lunch when daddy came. Jove spent almost an hour screaming and crying loudly (very very loudly in fact) while we waited for the table and the food. Gosh! I nursed him again in the restaurant, he slept for almost 30 minutes while we gobbled our food, then he woke up in all smiles mode! We cruised the mall again with the smiling baby in the stoller, then went to the grandparents'. Jove only saw his paternal grandparents about once a week and he still cried a lot in their place due to the unfamiliarity. He went back home tired.

Early morning on Monday, we drove again to my parents'. It was vaccination time again and I would go to the pediatrician with mom in the afternoon. Jove is 9.1kg now. He had a crying fit at night, just after dinner. Everybody tried to sway him, to calm him down and get him to sleep. No one succeded and nothing works. By the time I tried breastfeeding him, he has gone too angry to stop crying. At last, I took him from my mom's arms, did a little jog around the room while humming twinkle twinkle little star. He stooped crying and went to sleep. Fuh! About twenty minutes later, when we were just about to leave, he woke up with a big smile. The tensions from the crying fit faded, everyone smiled, and we went home peacefully.

bioresonance therapy

2006-12-08T22:10:00.000+07:00

Jove's cheeks and tummy got worse today. Red rashes popped out everywhere and he scratched them like crazy. I called a cousin of mine and she told me about this clinic that gave a kind of therapy for allergic people. My father called soon after and after I told him about this clinic, he offered to drive us there this afternoon.

He arrived to pick us up in 30 minutes, sacrificing his lunch hour. He'll do practically everything for his grandson!

Jove was tested allergic for a lot of things, including chicken, pork, local beef, cow's milk, and peanuts. Wow. It's good to finally know the food he's allergic to, now I can plan what I eat instead of doing it in trial and error way. The therapist said that Bioresonance therapy that they would be doing could eliminate his body resistance to those allergens and therefore made him an allergic-free kid. It could even prevent him from having asthma like his father and grandfather.

We're still contemplating about getting the therapy now. Hubby is still rather sceptical about the whole thing. Maybe we'll visit the clinic again with him and see how.

From the clinic, we had lunch at home then set off to the airport to pick my mom who came from Semarang.

Mom dashed out the moment she saw Jove without waiting for her baggage. She took him from my arms and asked me to take her baggage! When my dad complained, she said she has asked the security guard who said it was okay to do that. Whew, what a grandma!

testing

2006-12-07T10:04:00.001+07:00

I'm trying Mozilla's Performancing to post this. See how it works.

lazy tuesday

2006-12-05T18:13:00.000+07:00

Today I put a disposable diaper on Jove. Lazy to bring him to the toilet to pee. Lately this guy can protest out loud if he did not want to pee in the toilet, only to wet his pants a few minutes later. Then he could not stay still on the bed, always trying to move, roll around, and going out of the waterproof sheet. So I just put the disposable and let him roam free on the bed.

Lately, I often lose my confidence on being a good mom when the baby refused to smile at me. Saturday night, after a full day outing (swimming, going to the mall, visiting the paternal grandparents) Jove cried hard in the car going back to my parents' place. We were supposed to go back home from their place afterwards, but I was afraid that the little guy would go mad again in the car. We could not stay in for another night since we ran out of clothes, so I decided to left him there with my parents. The overjoyed grandmother agreed to take care of him for the night. Mom and dad brought him back on Sunday morning. She said they had a wonderful time with him the whole night and morning. But then, my little guy refused to look at me when I called his name and asking him to come to my embrace. He hugged his grandma tight.

That was a mixed feeling moment. I was happy that he could be so attached with the grandma and was a little disappointed too for obvious reason. Grandma had to go home and I had my baby back... but also with a feeling of not being a good enough mom. I need to learn more from my mom, I guess. She's one of the best mom I know.

Anyway, Mom went to Semarang in the afternoon to see her mother. She already called me when she landed, but no news on the hospital visit yet. I do hope that Emak is recovering well, and this time, really healed.

getting a high chair, yay!

2006-12-04T22:11:00.000+07:00

Jove just received a high chair from grandpa. He loves it! And tonight, my husband and I could enjoy dinner together, instead of taking turns like we usually did, while the baby sat happily with us at the dinner table in his new high chair. We noticed that he loves to sit with a leg (or both legs sometimes) lift up and rest on the small table. He does that again and again every time we put his leg down.

He's going to use the chair to have meal in three weeks time. Thanks, grandpa!

Update on Emak's condition: She has regained her consciousness and already had dinner. My aunt said the operation went well and she seemed to be okay. Thank God!

hope...

2006-12-04T12:45:00.000+07:00

After breakfast, I received an sms from a dear aunt, informing that my grandma has started to fast and they has called the doctor but the doctor was still sleeping.

What was happening, I could not find the answer in my mind.

I called home. I told mom about the sms, and she told me that grandma was going to undergo another operation. This time, her left leg below the knee would be removed.

I starred blankly. I heard about the plan of the operation, I just never thought that it would be that soon. Today? I thought they were still contemplating about it.

The doctors first removed half of her big toe. Then in Shanghai, they removed the rest of the toe, leaving a black gaping hole that suffocate me with tears upon seeing it. Then it was half the foot next. This afternoon, half of her left leg will be gone.

I remembered the way she winced of pain when she stayed in our house last August. I remembered her tense body when I hold her. I remembered her tears when she did the stupid doctor's suggestion of immersing her foot into a bowl of Dettol. It must have hurt her like hell. I have no more comforting words to say to her then... I could only hug her close and prayed hard for the pain to leave her.

This year has been a hard year for grandma, her six children and their families. We have received hundreds of smses with news of pain, operation, new methods that were going to be tried, new doctors, sleepless nights, some more operations, etc. We are weary... and we could lose all our hope if not for a few of us with great faith.

A cousin, the eldest and dearest of the grandchildren, is keeping her hope high, her prayers long, and her faith strong. She set an example for all of us to follow.

Emak sayang, semoga setelah operasi ini, Emak bisa benar-benar sembuh.

We have persevered Lord, please show us Your mercy.

atopic dermatitis

2006-11-30T15:12:00.000+07:00

Jove has this red rashes on his cheeks, neck, and tummy that started about two months ago. It started on his neck and cheeks, we thought breast milk and tropical heat were the cause of the rashes. But after a check with the pediatrician, it was an allergic reaction. He prescribed medicine for allergy, and within three days, all the rashes disappeared!

He advised me to keep notes on the food I ate and to observe if certain foods triggered the rashes. So, no egg whites, seafood, and peanuts for me. Problem came when the medicine was up after five days and the rashes started to reappear. I still could not pinpoint on which food was the cause. Three days has passed since then, and the rashes countinued to get slightly worse each day. We are going to try Protopic cream now, one of the cream prescribed by the peadiatrician. Hope that can help in reducing the rashes.